Demander Pardon | Children's Book Excerpt

While the word pardon alone is often used casually as a response for minor, everyday missteps, using it in the longer phrase je vous demande pardon (I beg your pardon) with the verb pardonner causes an increase in connotations of Severity + and Power +. 

This excerpt from the classic philosophical French children's book Le petit prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry demonstrates this apology at a pivotal moment in the novella. 

The boy, the story's protagonist, is preparing to leave his small home planet where he has been carefully doting on a vain, haughty, and naïve flower. He loves her dearly but her apparent lack of reciprocation leaves him sad and lonely. He says goodbye to the flower before he sets off, but receives no response. After his second goodbye, the flower apologizes, saying j'ai été sotte, je te demande pardon, and je t'aime. Tu n'en a rien su, par ma faute. (I was stupid, I beg your pardon. I love you. You did not know, it's my fault.) 

Here, she addresses him with informal tu, but her contrastive use of the more formal phrase, je te demande pardon, suggests a sense of distance between them as they part. It also matches her dramatic speaking style.

Tout l’art de s’excuser, sans trop en faire | Article

This journal article analyzes the different spaces in which apologies occur. According to the author, to apologize is not only an unavoidable act when living in a community, it is also a way to show vulnerability, empathy and overall a humbling act. The article provides concrete examples of situations in which apologies are expected, such as stepping on someone's shoe, bumping into someone, and emailing a boss to apologize for a late reply.

The act of apologizing has many physical and psychological effects on the speaker and the receiver of the apology. The author mentions the bounding and solidifying experience for the speaker to apologize and the receiver to accept the apology, to eventually work together by acknowledging each other's sensitivity and vulnerability. However, there are some limits to the validity of an apology. Sincerity is key - an apology should not only be an act of politeness, but a sincere desire to correct an action.

Pragmatics: Knowing what to say in certain situations | Blog Post

This blog post focuses on how French learners of English and American learners of French at the university level misused expressions related to the function of apologizing. The author analyzes in-class observations around the use of excuse me and sorry with novice learners of English and French, as an attempt to gather information on French pragmatics. 

French learners of English used excuse me when they had done something wrong, as well as I’m sorry when they wanted to get the teacher’s attention. The American learners of French overused je suis désolé in a variety of contexts. The main challenge learners need to overcome is the literal translation from their L1 to L2, and the lack of pragmatic resources available for teachers and novice learners.

Apologizing to a Friend | Text Message

Here, the responder explains to her friend (Solidarity +) that she is tired because she went to the movie theater late the previous night. Therefore, she was asleep when she received the first text, in which her friend asked if they could talk on the phone. Missing that opportunity is probably not too important, especially because the smiley face emoji in the request indicates the reason for the call is not serious (Severity -).

Apologizing to a Community | Facebook Post

Here, the writer apologizes in advance for writing a very long post to a Facebook group. Presumably, the writer feels a sense of connection with the group (Solidarity +), since their post is seeking help and advice on a personal issue. Though the situation for which they need help is important to them, the reason for their apology, writing a long post, could be seen as less severe (Severity -). It is important to pay close attention to the precise reason for the apology when exploring how French apology expressions are used!

Apologizing to a Family Member | Text Message

The writer uses désolée here when texting her sister (Solidarity +) about canceling a call at the last minute. She apologizes for something that she has done (canceling the call) that influences the other person. The use of emojis and reassuring phrases in the sister's response indicates canceling the call is not a severe act (Severity -).

Apologizing to Colleagues | Email

Here, désolée is used to apologize for something that the writer of the email has done which affected others: frustrer tout le monde (frustrate everyone). The writer sent a previous email to a large group of people with a link to a video, but the link did not work. Thus, the writer likely feels bad about wasting everyone's time. This message also employs other expressions of apology: Ah, zut, zut, je m'excuse, c'est dommage (Oh, shoot, shoot, I'm sorry, what a shame). When encountering apologies with more than one expression, think about how combining expressions might change the meaning. For example, how would a Power + expression with a Solidarity + expression feel different than a Power + expression alone?

Apologizing to a Colleague | Email

In this email, the sender expresses an apology to her colleague (Power +) for requesting a change of plans (and possibly for the influence of a personal issue on their professionalism) which affects someone they know professionally. Their urgence bébé (child-related emergency) means they must ask to reschedule their previously planned interview. The Severity may depend on the importance of the interview, but the sender adds the adverb absolument in front of désolée to show sincerity.

Comprehension | Text Message

This is an example of misunderstanding that has been resolved. The writer who sent the blue text misunderstood previously stated information and shows that she now understands by writing pardon. This use is in direct opposition to the previous usage. The difference between the two can be specified with use of question marks or intonation to show confusion in the previous usage (no question mark is used here, to show comprehension), and as always, context.

Misleading Translation | YouTube Video

In this clip of Ratatouille, Chef Skinner expresses his condolences with the phrase toutes mes condoléances. However, the subtitles say je suis désolé. This is an example of how learners may be misled to think je suis désolé is an appropriate response to someone's death. The subtitles throughout the film misaligned with what was being said, and some of the subtitles felt unnatural. This may be a result of attempting an English-based translation of this film, since Ratatouille was originally released in English.

Typo and Misspeaking | Text and YouTube Video

In addition to more straightforward apologies, pardon is used to acknowledge a simple mistake in typing or speaking. 

In the text message, the writer uses pardon to correct a misspelling in someone's name; she did not write "Haley" correctly the first time.

In the video, pardon is used to correct fumbled speech.

Customer Service | Tweet and Video Clip

Je suis navré.e as an apology is often used in customer service communications because of its Severity +, Power +, Solidarity - sense. This short video, showing results from a Twitter search of the phrase je suis navrée, demonstrates how companies and business owners use this phrase as a way to respectfully apologize to unsatisfied customers.

Zou dit pardon | YouTube Video

This video is from the popular animated French children's series, Zou, which follows a 5-year-old zebra named Zou. Like many children's series, Zou has lessons on appropriate societal behavior and expectations. In this clip, Zou learns how to apologize and say pardon after hurting his bird friend's feelings by wrongly accusing him of breaking his toy plane.

What? | YouTube Video

Pardon is also used to signify that you have not understood or heard something being said. In this clip from Confessions d'Histoire, the character uses the phrase Hein? Quoi? Pardon? to ask the speaker to repeat what's been said.

Je m'excuse | Email

In this email, the writer apologizes to a colleague for not responding to her email sooner. The use of tu shows solidarity between the colleagues and an absence of hierarchy in their relationship (Power -). The late reply does not seem to be so important (Severity -). The apology is mostly here to start the email politely.

Interrupting | YouTube Video

Pardon is also a natural word to use when interrupting someone. For example, in this video, the interviewer quickly interrupts his guest to add on to his question. 
Note: using pardon to interrupt someone to clarify your words may be appropriate in some situations, but interrupting someone in other contexts might be considered rude. An interruption is not polite simply by using the word pardon.

Pardon mais… | YouTube Video

Here, the use of pardon is meant to apologize for something the speaker is about to say, knowing that the listener will not like the following statement. How do you think this differs from the similar use of je suis navré.e at the bottom of the Je suis navré.e section?

Question de point de vue (Carlito) | YouTube Video

In this video, a woman on the phone apologizes to the person on the line for taking another call. The expression excuse-moi is used, meaning that the two people are presumably friends (Power - / Severity - / Solidarity +) or close enough to use the tu form of the verb.

Pas d'amalgame (McFly & Carlito) | YouTube Video

Here, a waitress apologizes to a customer for staining his shirt. In this context, the vous form of the verb is used to emphasize the Power + / Severity + / Solidarity - dynamic between the two people in the video.

Excuse(a)-moi to get someone’s attention | YouTube Video

Excusez-moi can also be used to get someone's attention, but as the verb "excuser" is conjugated with the pronoun vous, this expression would be heard in context of Power + / Solidarity -. For example, in this video, a customer is trying to get the attention of the waiter (Solidarity -).

Usul: comment séduire après | YouTube Video

The expression excuse-moi conjugated with tu can also be used to get someone's attention, but in context of Power -. Here, the man is asking for the woman's attention. Since the two do not know one another, the speaker is purposefully creating less distance between them by using the pronoun tu (Solidarity +).

Solemn Apology | Tweet

This tweet is an instance where je suis navré.e is used to apologize for something important. Here, the author wrote the tweet to apologize for having done something really hurtful to another person (Severity +). It looks like the two people used to be friends, but may have had some sort of falling out: Nous n'avons pas parlé depuis un certain temps. Et je sais que je n'ai pas été le meilleur. (We have not spoken for some time. And I know I have not been the best.). The situation seems to be Solidarity - now, so there is some distance between the person who apologizes and the recipient of the apology.

Solemn Apology | Novel

In this passage from the novel L'Urgentiste by Kate Hardy, the doctor tells a little boy “je suis navré” for not being able to save his father from a heart attack (Severity +). Although je suis navré.e can also be used to express sympathy, in this case, the doctor is truly apologizing. It is clear he was actively involved in treating the patient: “nous avons fait tout ce que nous avons pu, mais votre père a fait un arrêt cardiaque et nous n'avons pas pu le ranimer” (we did everything we could, but your father had a heart attack and we were not able to resuscitate). The relationship between the doctor and the boy is Power + and Solidarity -.

Strong Sympathy | Tweet

However, when expressing sympathy,  je suis navré.e is used differently! Though it keeps its sense of Severity + (with Severity indicating strong sympathy for a horrible event, in this case), it no longer has as strong of a sense of Solidarity - or Power +. In this tweet, the user addresses their conversation partner with toi (informal tu), indicating they have a Solidarity + and Power - relationship.

Ironic Usage | Customer Review

However, because this phrase is used so often as a generic customer service apology, it has somewhat lost its sincerity for customers. Here is an example of an unhappy customer intentionally flipping the phrase to use it against the company. After the service representative says “je suis navré de cette situation” (I am sorry for this situation), the customer replies, “je suis également navré par la qualité de votre application” (I am sorry about the quality of your app).

Polite Blame | Email

In general, je suis navré.e does not always signify the user's regret or acknowledgement of wrongdoing, even when it is used in customer service. Here, a seller uses the phrase to suggest the buyer is at fault for not having thoroughly read the product description; the item is on pre-order, and the buyer was unaware, even though the pre-order status was written in the product information. The use of the phrase je suis navrée si vous n'avez pas vu cette information au moment du passage de votre commande (I am sorry if you did not see this information when you placed your order), redirects the blame from the seller to the buyer.

Ironic Malice | Tweets

Je suis navré.e mais (I'm sorry but) can also be used to superficially pre-"apologize" before the speaker says something offensive or malicious, or to indicate disagreement before a speaker says something they know their listener will not like. These ironic usages do not imply the speaker actually wants to be forgiven for their statement, rather, it acts as a way to mark their unapologetic attitude. These usages may also appear as je suis navré.e que (that), si (if), pour (for), etc. 

Although I'm sorry in English can also be used ironically, the ability to recognize if je suis navré.e is being used genuinely or not is important for learners as they navigate different phrases of apology. The three tweets here are examples of je suis navré being used for ironic malice.

Negative reaction to désolé.e | Tweet

Désolé.e is generally not used to express mourning in French. While it might be appropriate to tell someone who is grieving I'm sorry for your loss in English, a direct word-based translation in French, je suis désolé.e pour votre perte, would be an inappropriate (and confusing) way to express condolences in French; it implies some responsibility for the cause of grief. This tweet is an example of a user expressing a negative reaction to the use of the word désolé.e as an expression of condolences. The question C'est toi qui l'a tué? (It's you who killed him?) demonstrates how désolé.e represents the apologizer has played a role in what they are apologizing for.

Combining Expressions | Tweet

Expressions can be combined in different ways to specify and change sentiments. Here, je suis navrée as an expression of strong sympathy is used in combination with mes condoléances to convey that the writer is greatly saddened that the person to which they are responding has suffered a loss. When analyzing texts online, consider how the use (or non-use) of emojis changes the feeling of the message. How might this example feel different without the added heart? What might the heart indicate about the relationship between the two communicators?

Condoléances | Instagram Posts

Expressing sympathy over someone's death would likely make use of the word condoléances (condolences). This is an example of an Instagram post expressing sympathy to singer Mackendy Talon and his family for the death of his father. This is accompanied by a card one might give to a grieving person.